Once in a while, meditating on things can help you sort stuff out. Whether it's praying or mere reflecting on what has happened. For someone like me, who overthinks once in a while (OK, maybe a bit more often than that), it helps calm the mind, even for just a bit.
I haven't done any of that stuff recently and I do need to clear my head just a bit. After quick deliberation and judgment of a "good idea", I have decided take a mental trip to the past and look back 10 years ago. Just as much as I can remember now, of course.
Why? Because I can write a blog post about this, that's why.
Memory lane seems to be set in Baguio or somewhere else high up in the mountains. It's a road covered in infinite fog that doesn't seem to go away. The farther you move forward, the less things that remain seen. You just leave a "light" of various strengths on things to help you see them better than the rest.
So here we go.
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Wow. I AM short. Sure, everyone is shorter 10 years ago, but man, I really am short. It's one thing that has been pretty consistent after all these years. I must have been playing video games when the heavens made it rain blessings for physical growth. That or maybe my stubbornness when it comes to siestas.
Around this time, I was in the 4th and 5th grade of elementary school. It was also the first year to start wearing pants as part of the school uniform. However, whether pants or shorts, we were still elementary kids who wanted to have fun with every chance we got.
So, we ran around playing different versions of tag every morning before line formation and secretly carried trading cards, Beyblades and Tech Decks in our bags and pockets, so we could play during break times discreetly. As a 4th/5th grade boy, friendship meant running around together until your breathless, eating at the same lunch table, and covering up for each other when your toys/school ID are in danger of confiscation. I don't really think this has changed much, even with the kids today. I don't know what kind of toys they are playing now and I'm pretty sure most schools don't allow toys in the learning premises, but the fact that they still bring some to school is an undying childhood tradition.
Like everyone else, I made friends in school the normal way: via small talk to whoever was sitting on the chairs adjacent to yours, via group activities, via playmates in bente-uno and bangsak (Come to think of it, did I write that right?), and via the school bus. My friends were physically active and so was I. We'd run our asses off in the morning, play with fingerboards and Japanese anime toy fads in between classes, and then stay for a while after classes just to chill or run around some more. The after-party continues to the bus, just with different people. Some of the best times of my life. A bit too young for me to say that? I think not. And I think some would agree.
Being the growing kids that we were, attraction to the opposite sex comes into play. I am no exception. This was the time when I had my first crush. I met her in the 3rd grade and we were seated right beside each other. Naturally, we talked a lot. That was the last time we were ever classmates. In fact, that was the last time we've ever talked. I never really realized that I liked her until the 4th grade. Long story short, I've moved on. And this kind of topic always comes out awkward when I write/talk about it. Alright, that's enough. (My right eye was twitching while my stomach was bubbling the whole time from the awkwardness of typing this whole part)
Let's talk about hobbies now. School hobbies, to be exact. In school, there used to be an "Interest Activity" slot as the last subject on the Friday schedule. I joined the Taekwondo club. I thought that it would be a good thing to learn martial arts for the purpose of self-defense when the situation calls for it. Plus, it's a good excuse for jumping around, reenacting Tekken fighting moves with friends. I learned a lot in Taekwondo, in both the physical and mental aspect. It instilled in me a sense of self-discipline, which is what counts in the long run. When the "Interest Activity" wasn't a staple anymore, I stopped Taekwondo as well. Now in the present time, I'm still a martial arts enthusiast and I'd like to try a martial art again. Probably a new one.
Speaking of hobbies, this also marks my first year of skateboarding. From a curious little n00b who was amazed at my neighbor who could make a piece of wood with wheels jump, I turned into a curious little n00b who wore shin guards and spent his weekend afternoons doing the exact same thing over and over again. Over the course of my childhood, I seem to have fed my knees quite a few teaspoonfuls of concrete. Once, me and my friend skated at the gymnasium after classes. My non-skating friends were pretty excited about seeing someone skate and I think we were one of the very few skaters they actually knew. Now that friend of mine got even better and he is WAY beyond my level now. I remember how unnecessarily nervous I was just asking our adviser if I could bring my board to the Christmas party. For some reason, I thought she was gonna freak out and go on about how I've become a delinquent. Silly me.
Musically, I was getting into rap and nu-metal, along with what was getting mainstream attention at the time. Electronic music was pretty low-key during those days, making dubstep jokes pretty obscure at best. RnB and nu-metal were the two main genres that emerged as the musical representation of the early 2000 mainstream, so those were the kind of music that are burned into bootleg "Best of 20xx" CDs that you'd hear being blasted by your loud neighbor's speakers. I didn't know how to play any instrument at the time, so it was more of trying to memorize the lyrics to everything. Because of that, I had this weird habit of writing memorized lyrics on paper or on Microsoft Word. Some of my classmates even asked for some copies. Probably because it was cheaper than buying song-hits. Hey, don't ask me now. I don't really know why myself. Luckily, it died soon enough.
The internet connection at the time was dial-up. I still remember my dad dropping one end of an Ethernet cable from the second floor like a rope and telling me to disconnect the phone line to connect that end for a connection. And then we wait around 2 minutes for the connection to actually happen. All we ever use the internet for during that time was research. Just plug the cable in, open a browser, research, save, and then you're done. I can honestly say that this time may have made the most distraction-free, productive researches ever produced by students and professionals alike. Social networking was still on its way up the popularity chart, plus the fact that your internet speed sucks. On average, it's one Wikipedia page per minute. Even if Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram were as active as they are now during those times, it would be horrible. Synchronous chat would be impossible, as the other end would have logged out already before you could even send "heeyyy :)". You and your frappucino would be at above room temperature and covered in ants by the time you finished uploading a picture of it with 27 irrelevant hashtags. At that time, what else could you do online with that kind of speed?
What issues were the country facing, who was the "hottest name in showbiz", I didn't care at all. I was a kid, what do you expect? I don't remember what those men and women in suits and traditional Filipino clothing were doing/supposed to be doing. I wouldn't remember what was the "ulo" of the "nagbabagang balita" at the time. Besides, I don't really think that matters anyway. It has always been the same ever since. Politicians who are all genuine altruists and the media that tells everything as it really is exists in the same parallel universe where Robin Padilla comfortably speaks highfalutin English. With a British accent.
As a kid, the only goal and mindset in my head was to STUDY and HAVE FUN. Well, that's to be expected, right? I never would've thought that a decade from now, I'd be at home seeking employment. I never imagined that I would be a bit of a math enthusiast. I never would've thought that I would be this interested in Japanese music and manga/anime. Hell, I never would've thought about anything outside the lessons we were supposed to review for a quiz. If I survived throughout the week passing quizzes, submitting assignments, while squeezing in a bit of fun in between, then I've done my job.
During those times, life was more fun than it is anything else. Less stressful, less problematic. Less responsibilities, lighter expectations. Even if you made a mistake, consequences are never that grave. The hardest problems we ever had to face was the introduction of letters and exponents, and half-a-blackboard-long equations in mathematics (Like, what is this evil sorcery?). During those times, you were never really "independent". You always had your parents, guardians, and even friends to help you in making decisions. Now, you are encouraged to stand up alone because you have reached the age of maturity and gained the necessary skills to survive on your own. One day, you too will be the one guiding the curious, hyperactive youth to the same path to adulthood. Maybe you'll see yourself in one of them, and remember what you used to be a decade ago and relate it to them.
In another decade, would you still remember everything vividly?
Like I said, memory lane is a foggy, foggy place. The places where you put the lights will be what you remember best. However, those lights are not eternal. They will eventually grow dimmer over time. What I just did was a sort of rekindling, to strengthen the light and keep it burning. After that, remember to face forward. As you do, you'll eventually encounter new places, new people, and new things, that will be worth lighting.
Time marches forward, and so should we.
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